The Lost Day

I didn't accomplish anything today-so no list. I woke up at eight (so no exercising), couldn't wake up George, ate breakfast (literally, peanuts and coffee), and went back to sleep. People kept waking me up-which in my cranky state, made me crankier-until finally George "hoo-hahed" me (we've made this a verb) and I got up. But we didn't work. Neesha was feeling a little off, so we all watched the first X-men movie until lunch. The dvd we are watching we got from Jerome which he got from 'that guy', and is, by the way, entitled "The Best of Americans Acting Movies Volume 2" and which includes (among others) (i kid you not): XXX 1&2, Bad Boys 1&2, Big Mommas House, Doom, Mortal Combat, Transporter 1&2, Breakdown, Cyberwatch and X-men 1,2&3. Unfortunately, it is pretty scratched up and has this incredibly irritating tendency to cut out in the middle of the climatic movie scene (its done this to us three times-in the middle of XXX 2 (yes we watched it. yes I'm embarrassed), Breakdown (Kurt Russel versus Midwestern Hillbillies) and, of course, X-men.
The premise for XXX2 by the way (it sounds like porn, i promise it isn't) is that Samuel L. Jackson (you should know better!) breaks Ice Cube out of prison via a helicopter? to be come a supersecret deep undercover spy (official title) even though the only qualifications he needs is to ski and surf-which you can find about nine thousand hippies capable of, but whatever, to stop the secretary of the army from killing all the high ups and taking over the world. Ice Cube is an ex Navy Seal who made the highest dive in history (google Ice Cube. This man does not look like a diver) who is like, the least subtle spy ever, and just kind of blows everything he touches into pieces, and somehow manages to divert an entire SWAT team going after him using nothing but a bunch of microwaved ham. I dont know what the actual plot was because from about the minute they start preparing for the climax to this random scene on the President's supersecret escape train is obscured by skipping. However, needless to say, it is a stupid movie.
ANYWAY.

After lunch we just kind of sat around. And then we tried to watch the rest of X-men (failed), George went to the bishop's house to fix his Internet, I swept our entire room and the whole patio with a broom (which is actually the bottom half of a broom, without any kind of handle, and was very backbreaking but satisfying), and chatted with Neesha about guys, and ate dinner, and showered. I don't know how i managed to waste a day this way.

But as a side story: George attempted a magic trick wherein he sucks a hard boiled egg into a bottle. Its not actually magic, its just science, but whatever. The point is, they grow eggs bigger hear. And bottles a LOT smaller. This was already a doomed attempt from the start.

To begin with, we couldn't get anything to light on fire in the bottle. We tried paper. We tried the termite ON the paper. We tried gauze. We tried 99% DEET. We tried paper sprayed with aerosol sunspray. We only succeeded in lighting the outside of the bottle on fire. After half an hour we decided to give up and see if we could light the egg on fire. No go. But eggs smell bad when burned.

So George is just burning the egg, and i go to spray the egg with aerosol sunspray and accidentally hit the lighter instead of the egg, and light George on fire. George pretended to be offended, but lets be honest. He was delighted. So now I can never complain about how he punched me in the face, because he gets to retort with "Yeah!? Well! YOU LIT ME ON FIRE" to which I have no option but to hang my head and admit-yes. yes i did.