Planning a celebration

So, in light of the fact that it would be near impossible to have a normal American Fourth of July, we have started to plan our alternative.
To begin with, we are buying lots of crates of beer and sodas, about three fat chickens, and some beef, which we will grind up (we have not figured out how yet) to make hamburgers. This should be a bit of a fiasco considering that no one here has ever made hamburgers and none of us americans have ever had to grind our own beef. Also, the ketchup here is actually a combination of ketchup and sweet and sour sauce, which is great on french fries but has never been attempted on beef.
SO. Our hopeful menu:
Hamburgers!
Fried Chicken!
French Fries!
Beer!

We wanted to have ice cream but considering we would have to freeze a goat to get it, I dont see that happening.
And then we come to pyrotechnics.
We spent a good half hour while sitting around at the Census bureau trying to figure out how to get ahold of any of the following: Fireworks, Rocket Launcher, Unexploded Ammunition, Diesal/Coke Bottles/Dirty Rags/Matches, Guns, Unexploded Land Mines, Flares. After about half an hour of musing, we concluded we probably couldnt get half these things, and the other half were like, the most dangerous thing we could possibly use, and also a police officer walked by, overheard me sqawking about making huge projectiles of flame, and got suspicious, so we desisted. We thought briefly about going to the US Embassy while we were in Juba to try and buy any of these things off of them, but decided against it.
So, we have settled on a large bonfire, wearing blue/red/white, eating American food (of a sort) and drinking lots of beer.

I'll let you know how it goes. And Ps. I now understand why people use mosquito nets (as if I didnt, after all this time, know before). We didn't sleep under them in Juba and I am literally COVERED in bites. From my toes to my thighs to my arms. ANd it itches! And I got a sunburn from putting my arm out the window (again). So I am darker and scratchier than I use to be. Damn.